One day I was walking on Venice Boardwalk and saw little children dancing carefree in front of this street performer who was singing. I looked at them and was amazed that I used to have that type of attitude. I do what I wanted without a care in the world or what other people thought of me. And as I grew up, societal conditioning caused me to think otherwise. I started becoming more conscious of the things I was doing because I was afraid that I might look bad in front of my friends, colleagues, family, and even strangers. I became inhibited, stifled, and shy and reverted back into a social cocoon.
After thinking about it a little more, I realized that having these types of anxieties were preventing me from doing a lot of things in life. It was stopping me from approaching and meeting the women I was really attracted to because of reasons like fear of rejection or what other people would think if they saw me fail. It was stopping me from talking and networking with people that would be helpful in my business. It was stopping me from telling people what I really wanted and how I felt about them. Continue reading 'Importance of Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone'»
I was at PetSmart today and had one of these spur of the moment things. I was at the register buying a new doggie chew toy and the cashier was ringing me up. When she finished, a customer had just walked in and asked her a question. To help the customer, the cashier walked away from the cash register. All of a sudden, the phone was ringing.
Me: [Thinking to myself] Hey, the phone’s ringing and she walked away. No one’s answering it. I wonder what would happen if I picked up the phone and answered it. That would be weird and a little uncomfortable. Oh shit…it’s uncomfortable. I should do it! Continue reading 'Answering the Phone'»
I’ve noticed that when I’m at a stoplight in my car and start looking around at the drivers, most of them are looking forward in this dazed look and would rarely make eye contact with me. Once in a while you catch them, but their eyes quickly dart away. So today, I’m going to start working on getting eye contact with drivers and holding it long enough until they are the first ones to break.
Since visualization is such a powerful mental tool, Continue reading 'Eye Contact With Drivers'»
I was at the Irvine Spectrum yesterday and was asking people for 10-minute instant dates to join me on the Ferris wheel. Since I was with Frankie, I thought it might have been a little too weird to ask just one person, so I was targeting groups of two.
Me: Hey, you guys seem pretty cool. I’m curious. On a scale of 1-10 and beyond, how adventurous would you say you are? Continue reading 'Riding the Ferris Wheel'»
Today I was having one of those days where I’ve been feeling pretty good about approaching women. When I’m out and about now, I’m actually eager to spot cute girls. I was in Santa Monica doing some work and had to step out onto Third Street Promenade to get something. As I was walking around, I saw a couple of the cuties I really liked. It was then where I got scared again. I was able to open and make a comment to one, so at least that was cool. I passed another potential cute one at the corner, but didn’t turn around and go back because I got scared again.
It’s an interesting situation. In the past few days, I’ve been feeling supremely confident at times and now I feel like a chicken again. But after a little while, I realized that this has been much better than several months ago. Back then, I used to be chicken all the time and not confident any time. So putting it into that perspective helped a lot because now it’s confident some of the time and only chicken some of the time (and much less of one than before).
But as I was walking back to the office, I thought about my situation right now: I feel very confident when I approach the women that I’m only moderately attracted to. I have that feeling of “I can do this.” But when it comes to the women that I’m really attracted to, I get scared wondering if I’m good enough for them and give them all the power. So on one hand, I didn’t want to date the ones that were only moderately attractive because I wanted to go for the perfect girl. On the other hand, I was still scared of the perfect girl. Dilemma right?
But when I asked Brian about it the other day, he said to go do both. Instead of this being mutually exclusive, go for both types of women. He recommended that I should date the women I’m moderately attracted to (my 7′s and 8′s) while simultaneously going for the ones I’m super attracted to (my 9′s and 10′s). It was such a simple and easy answer, I wonder why I didn’t think of it. Makes sense to learn to date and get comfortable with women in general while I build my experience and confidence during the process.
So by the time I got back to the office, I was both enlightened and frustrated. I’m glad I had my epiphany, but wasn’t satisfied that I didn’t really go for those two other girls I saw. After a little while, I knew what I had to do. Continue reading 'Spilling My Guts and Being Vulnerable'»
One of the main concepts of I’ve learned from Inner Confidence is the importance of the ability to manage tension. Being a man who is solid and unfazed in the depths of a tense situation is immensely attractive to women. Examples could be something simple like how you handle a “no” from a woman to how you respond to a car accident. Are you flustered and discombobulated or are you calm, cool, and collected.
Firemen are prime examples of men that can manage tension. What they do for a living is run into dangerous burning buildings and rescue women and children. As a man, I appreciate, admire, and respect what firemen can do. From a woman’s perspective, firemen are HOT! Continue reading 'Managing and NOT Releasing Tension'»
I was driving home one night and I remember the Inner Confidence guys suggesting an exercise to manage conflict is to go buy something and return it. So I’m on the way home and see a CVS Pharmacy. Let’s go in and see what I could find.
I walk into the store and knew that I had to buy something that I don’t need because that will force me to return it. I know, let’s go get some tampons. As I’m walking in, there’s a line here too, so this is going to be weird if people are watching.
Anyways, I finally found the feminine care aisle and picked up a box of tampons. By the time I get to the cashier, thank goodness all those 7 people in line when I walked in are finally gone. I walked up to the register and an older woman named Norma in her 50s or 60s rings me up.
Norma: That’ll be $4.25.
Me: Here’s a $5.
Norma: I don’t have any quarters, so here’s a quarter and some dimes.
Me: OK. By the way, I don’t need that bag, thanks [because I'm going to come back and return it].
I grabbed my receipt, change, and tampons and take 3 steps to leave. On the third step, I pause, turn around, and then walk back to the counter. Continue reading 'Don’t Need Tampons'»
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