Managing and NOT Releasing Tension
One of the main concepts of I’ve learned from Inner Confidence is the importance of the ability to manage tension. Being a man who is solid and unfazed in the depths of a tense situation is immensely attractive to women. Examples could be something simple like how you handle a “no” from a woman to how you respond to a car accident. Are you flustered and discombobulated or are you calm, cool, and collected.
Firemen are prime examples of men that can manage tension. What they do for a living is run into dangerous burning buildings and rescue women and children. As a man, I appreciate, admire, and respect what firemen can do. From a woman’s perspective, firemen are HOT!
Here’s an excellent example of how Leonardo DiCaprio manages the tension as Howard Hughes in the movie “The Aviator” when he’s hitting on the cigarette girl. He maintains his composure and seductive frame through the entire interaction, whereas his buddy with the mustache breaks up in laughter and releases the tension at 1:44 and 2:42. Check it out:
As an analogy, releasing the tension is like removing the lid off of a jar that is about to exploded. Whereas when you’re managing the tension, you’re like a lightning rod that gets hit by lightning, but safely sends the electricity into the ground. And as you can see in “The Aviator” example, mustache guy releases the tension by laughing it off. You’ll see Leonardo laugh too, but it’s a different kind of laughter. Other ways to release tension include nervous ticks, lack of eye contact, and making jokes.
To develop the ability to manage tension better, I would do these exercises that put myself into these sticky situations. The idea first started when Inner Confidence suggested I deliberately approach people with the intent to get rejected. They wanted me to do that because I was an external validation junkie at the time. Instead of feeling good about who I am myself internally, I had the need to find it externally by seeking approval, validation, and rapport from women. To change that, they recommended that I deliberately go get rejections from people. Eventually those rejection exercises morphed into these anxiety and tension exercises.
Awesome stuff here c-dub, im learning more from you than the gurus! lol
YES! YES! YES! This is is! This is what the Fuck I’ve been talking about. Thank you Thank you Thank you! I’ll explain later…