Riding the Ferris Wheel
I was at the Irvine Spectrum yesterday and was asking people for 10-minute instant dates to join me on the Ferris wheel. Since I was with Frankie, I thought it might have been a little too weird to ask just one person, so I was targeting groups of two.
Me: Hey, you guys seem pretty cool. I’m curious. On a scale of 1-10 and beyond, how adventurous would you say you are?
Girl #1: 7!
Girl #2: 8!
Me: Really? The reason I’m asking is because my buddy and I are looking for someone to ride the Ferris wheel with because we’re scared of heights.
Girl #1: Oh. I thought you were asking because you were looking for people to be on a TV show or something.
Me: So is that a yes?
Girl #2: No, thanks. [Walks away.]
Me: What? Haven’t you ever been on a 10-minute date?
Girl #2: My boyfriend would probably have an issue with it.
I asked a few more groups of people, but they all politely declined. I even asked a couple, but they declined the double-date as well. Anyways, one day I’ll get one…
6/26/09
When I did this last time at the Spectrum, I was rolling with my boy Frankie. But this time, I went solo to see how it would go. At least for me, it’s always easier to do approaches when you’re with your friend(s) because they push you to go for it and support you if you fail. Kinda like a coach. So going alone is always the most difficult.
When I went today by myself, I had much less anxiety about approaching solo today than I have in the past. I believe this is a result of continually making approaches with your friend(s) so that the fear eventually goes away enough that you can do it on your own. And slowly over time, I should be able to approach as well by myself as if I was with a buddy.
Today, I approached 8 groups/sets of women: 2 of them were by themselves, 3 of them were 2-sets (2 girls in the group), 2 of them were 3-sets, and 1 of them was a 4-set. I didn’t have the nerve to approach men (whether alone or with friends) or any group with men in them. I modified my opening line a bit: “I know this is kind of random, but you guys look really friendly. Are you adventurous though? On a scale of 1-10 and beyond, how adventurous would you say you are? Oh 8 [for example]. That’s pretty good. Most people rate themselves at a 6 or 7. The reason I ask is because I’ve been worked/lived in Santa Monica for a few years and I’ve never been on the Ferris wheel before and I’m looking for someone to ride it with.”
So what were the results?
For the first girl by herself, she was a nicely tanned blonde working at Pinkberry. She was in charge of directing people into the free Pinkberry promotion line. I approached with my opener and also added a “you’re cute” somewhere in there, but she has a boyfriend and declined. I gave her a hug at the end though, so that was cool. The second girl by herself who I approached also worked at Pinkberry. She was a cute young brunette who actually took over for the blonde because she had just gotten off work. Unfortunately I got the same result – boyfriend. But in addition, this one was a much shyer girl. Every time I moved half an inch closer to her, she moved 2 inches back. Her body language was completely defensive.
I approached three 2-sets. One of them went well. She didn’t say yes to riding on the Ferris wheel right at that moment because they were shopping, but I got her phone number and will see if I can schedule it for another time. Unfortunately, it felt more like I was extracting the phone number from her more so than her giving it to me, so we’ll see how well that works out. Of the remaining two, they both declined and one of them was the worst interaction of the day. I’m pretty proud of it though because they were both sitting outside of the Coffee Bean and I stopped to talk to them over the guardrail with everyone else sitting there watching me. It went something like:
Me: [Opener.]
Girl #1: Can’t you see that we’re having a conversation here.
Me: I thought you were kinda cute.
Girl #1: Thanks, but why don’t you ask that guy.
Me: [I look at the guy she's pointing to and he has this incredibly disturbed look on his face. I can tell he was extremely uncomfortable for himself and/or me. I was completely relaxed though. The first thing that came to my mind was:] But he doesn’t meet the height requirement for the Ferris wheel. He’s too tall. [I was caught off guard by her comment, so what I blurted out made no sense.]
Girl #1: Well, that was rude.
Me: Sorry, I’m just warming up. [They were the first or second approach of the day.]
Girl #1: I think you should go now.
Me: OK. Have a nice day.
One of the two 3-sets was almost as bad. After overhearing them planning to go on the Ferris wheel, I approached:
Me: [Opener.]
Girl #1: We’re going to go, but just the three of us. Because when we take pictures, we don’t want you in them.
It was a fair enough comment, but kinda stung a bit for a split second.
I saw the final 4-set from across the street and should have ran across to talk to them, but I chickened out. I was lucky that they crossed the street and came over to my way. But by the time they got to my corner, there were at least 10-15 people surrounding them and I’m sure all of them could overhear me. Just a couple of months ago, I probably would have been too afraid to speak loudly enough, fearing that the people around us would overhear and laugh or think poorly of me, especially if I failed. But through these progressive conditioning exercises, I think I’m done caring about what other people think in this context. And how nice it is to be free of that.
Now that I’ve done this a couple of times, I think one part of the new strategy for an instant 10-minute date on the Ferris wheel would be to approach people who are physically closer to the Ferris wheel (rather than several minutes away by foot) so that it would be easier for them to get on. I also probably would have a higher likelihood of getting better results by approaching tourists and/or out-of-towners because they’re already new to the area and looking for something different.
dope.