Why in the world are you doing this?
My primary reason for doing this is to smash social anxiety by going into a heavily populated public area as a man wearing a dress. By doing this, my outcome was to be liberated from social anxiety and the fear of what negative things other people may think of me. By being free from the fear of criticism, I will be more empowered in many areas of my life. There have been too many times in the past where I didn’t do something or was afraid to do it (even though it was in my personal best interest) because of what naysayers would think. And continuing to live that way is no longer acceptable in my world.

Some other reasons:

• It’s summer and it’ll be July 4th on Saturday and I don’t think there will be any weekend for the remainder of the year that will have this much foot traffic.  It’ll be maximum exposure and the same opportunity won’t be coming around for a while.
• I’ll learn to walk into the midst of tension and manage it.
• This type of feat will help me prepare for the World Air Sex Championships in Vegas.
• Perhaps it will inspire someone else out there in the world to do something that goes outside their comfort zone.
• It’s an ego/confidence boost to be able to say that I had the balls to do something like this. It also becomes a powerful frame of reference for me.  One day in the future I’m going to encounter a challenge that I’ll have self-doubt about overcoming.  I’m then going to tell myself that if I can walk down Venice Boardwalk in a dress, then I can overcome this petty challenge.  Sometimes it might not work, but other times it will.

However, when I discussed this with my coaches at Inner Confidence, they actually DISCOURAGED me from doing it.  They said it would be good for someone who is much more shy and reserved.  But if I were to do it, it would only be a way to distract myself from something they think I’m even more afraid of: connecting with women.  I sincerely respect the advice they give me and I can agree with that on some level, but I still think the benefits and opportunity is worth pursuing and am doing it anyways.

The caveats.

But in order to get the maximum value out of this, it was extremely important that I did this with two caveats:

1. Playing it off would be one thing, but accepting it is another. It would be much easier if I walked down the Boardwalk in the dress and purposely acted like a buffoon as if it was a bet or that I’m just horsing around. The more challenging (and critical) method is to do it as if it was completely normal. It’s easy (or easier) to pretend that I’m just a goofball tranny/crossdresser, making jokes, acting like a clown, or laughing at the whole thing. Those are all methods of releasing the tension and justifying the ridiculous act of a man wearing a dress. Instead, my objective was to be as comfortable as possible with wearing a dress and doing my best to pretend that this was normal for me. By being calm and sitting in the tension of having people think that I’m a moron is much more effective than trying to “play it off” and giving people an excuse to justify why I have a dress on.
2. Ignoring people is one thing, but it’s another to connect with them. It would be easier to completely ignore and disconnect from people. This would be like walking down the Boardwalk and pretending no one was there. The more challenging thing to do would be to notice, acknowledge, be present, and connect with people. Make eye contact with people who stare. Feel the disgust and humility on their faces. See it, hear it, and feel it – but let it all channel through me and remain solid.

With that said, my friend JoRock and I walked down the Venice Boardwalk on Saturday July 4th as men wearing dresses.  Pure and Carte Blanche joined us in support and got some footage as well.

The experience.

A couple of things were as I expected. People did some double takes to look twice and made sure they saw what they saw. Even a couple of police officers were a little shocked. Drivers in cars stuck in traffic honked and screamed at us as we walked by. Some even took a picture.

Most people though were afraid to make eye contact. As soon as they noticed that we were dressed like women, their eyes would shoot away and try to ignore us.  I tried to make eye contact with most people, but they struggled to look in my eyes.

I could tell that many people had these guilty smiles on their face that they were trying to contain.  I took the whole dress thing very seriously and didn’t even crack a smile, so they definitely interpreted it as something normal and not a joke.  Having that frame of mind made most people afraid to laugh in front of my face, but many had no problem laughing and commenting behind my back after I walked by and looked back.  It unfortunately goes to show how a lot of people in life do these things: gossip behind your back because they don’t have the nerve to do it in your face.  It’s something I’ve been guilty of before myself, so it was a good reminder to be a better human being by not being one of those people that do that.

The two most uncomfortable moments from the whole experience:

1. Basketball court walk of shame. Walking through the crowd wasn’t too bad, so Carte Blanche challenged me to walk across the basketball court where all the spectators and masculine basketball players were sitting.  The idea made my skin crawl to purposely try to attract attention and have all those people look at me.  So of course, I had to do it.  That was pretty embarrassing because I knew all eyes were on me and I was trying to get attention.  It was pretty shameful as I could barely make any eye contact while doing that.
2. The rowdy teenage boys. Towards the end, I must have already been walking around for over an hour and was feeling quite comfortable doing it. But as I was leaving the Boardwalk, there was an SUV full of these teenage boys all staring at me.  We made eye contact, but it was uneasy for me because of the way they were looking.  I detected this sense of inferiority and mockery, as if they were looking at me like they were better than me. It felt like high school all over again. And after I had walked several feet past them, I heard this humongous roar of laughter.  That was probably the most hurtful part of the whole experience.

The conclusion.

But overall, it wasn’t that bad.  It was surprisingly easier than I thought it would be to have hundreds of people see me in a dress.  For the most part, I was able to remain solid and walk around in a dress as if it was a normal Saturday thing to do.  I’m happy I was able to keep my composure and handle the situation relatively well.  As I reflect on my experience, I feel pretty good that I had the nerve to do something like this as most men wouldn’t have the courage to do it.  However, I still felt strangely unfulfilled after it was all over.  It was anti-climatic.  I wasn’t excited or thrilled, but felt kinda empty; like is that it?  Have you ever felt that way about accomplishing something that you thought would have been more spectacular than it actually turned out to be?

But it gets better.

So after it was over, I was feeling a little bummed about the whole thing.  I didn’t have that sense of victory as I thought I would have.  Nonetheless, it was the Fourth of July after all, so I participated in the barbecue activities at the Inner Confidence residence.  Towards the evening, I was suppose to leave and hop to another BBQ, but I stayed and am glad I did because I met this Wicked woman.

I kinda noticed her earlier in the evening, but didn’t get a chance to chat with her until the later part of the evening – just as the fireworks coincidentally started. So what can I say about her and the experience? Well…it was definitely more fulfilling than walking down the Boardwalk in a dress.

It was refreshing to meet someone who actually shares the similar beliefs, values, and outlook on life.  Someone who understands how I feel about where I’ve been, where I’m at now, and where I’m going and vice versa.  Sometimes I feel like I’m the only person who has insecurities and fears to overcome and it’s a long and lonely journey, but don’t really notice until someone else crosses onto your path. I’m always pleasantly surprised about how the Universe always comes through for me and supplies me with exactly what I need at this very moment now.

So the day didn’t turn out how I expected, but it did turn out better than I expected.

But before I even knew what improv was, I remember seeing the show, “Whose Line Is It Anyway?” I won’t post a video clip because pretty much all of them are funny. Just go YouTube it if you’ve never heard of the show.

Anyways, when I first saw it, I was so impressed by these performers by how spontaneous, quick, and witty they are. I couldn’t believe how funny these people can be in just a blink of an eye. Without a script or preparing, these talented folks are saying and doing some freaking hilarious stuff! It was so amazing that one day I knew I wanted to learn how to do improv. And being a left-brained kind of guy, I thought about the:

Benefits of Taking Improv

• Cultivates humor, spontaneity, and creativity.
• Being able to think quickly on my feet.
• I learn how to STOP thinking, let my mind go (left brain), be present in the situation, and just feel and flow.
• Teaches me to emote and explore other aspects of communication: facial expressions, gestures, tonality, volume, etc.
• Teaches me to care less about looking “stupid” in front of other people.
• Makes a great experience and story to tell.
• Public speaking is scary, but improv is worse. For the most part, people that do public speaking have time to prepare and deliver their speech. With improv, there is no time. How scary is it to be thrown on stage with no idea what the topic is going to be and having people look at you and expecting you to make them laugh? But the better question to ask is how much of a better person, communicator, lover, entrepreneur, family member, etc. will you become if you can conquer that and acquire the skills from all the bullet points listed above?

With that in mind, I began in November 2008 taking improv classes from Mission Improvable (formerly known as Westside Eclectic) in Santa Monica and completed their first three levels of improv (3 hours per class for 6-8 weeks for each level) for a total of 70+ hours of improv over 6 months. Everyone from my classmates to the instructors made those classes so much fun. During that same time period, I supplemented with another 25 hours of improv from The Magic Meathands in West Los Angeles, another awesome group of people.

All-in-all, I think I’ve racked up about 100 hours of improv. So now the question is: what have I learned after going through all that? I definitely accomplished a lot of the things I listed in the bullet points, but I want to emphasize these related takeaways:

#1- Don’t think about what to say. Just be present, connect with your partner and audience, and just do.
One of the worst things to do that will really mess you up is thinking about what to say. This is especially true if you’re trying to think of something funny. Instead of doing that, be present with your partner on stage and your audience. This means listening, feeling, and connecting with them and they will give you all the conscious and subconscious gifts you need to come up with something genius to say or do. It will spontaneously and magically happen.

I found this to be useful not just in improv, but also when it comes to meeting women. The last thing I should be asking myself before approaching a woman is: what should I say to her? Instead, I’m better off being open and observant and she and/or the situation will give me something to talk about or I’ll suddenly remember something to talk about.

#2 – Don’t filter your words or actions. Just trust and go with it.
Trusting myself was one of the hardest things to do. Having faith and belief that your brain and body will come through for you during the times of your greatest need is one of the greatest gifts you can give it. Because time and time again, your mind and body will always serve you in the highest light possible if you just let it.

In improv, that meant trusting the first words and ideas that come to mind and going with it. Of course you sacrifice in the short-term by bombing a LOT, but it’s a necessary evil for developing this extremely valuable habit. Your job now is to just go with it and the feedback you get from your partner and audience will train your brain. It’s only through trial and error will you build that sense of calibration and your mind will automatically know what to give you and what NOT to give you in the future. For now, just execute. Because in the long-run, you’ll be more pleasantly surprised by the brilliance of the things that come out of your mouth when you just do it. And that will never happen in the future if you don’t stop filtering (and punishing) your brain now.

#3 – No hesitation. Just go. And go all the way.
In improv, one of the worst things you can do to your partner is leave them hanging on stage and out to dry. Not only does it make them look awkward, but it makes you and everyone on your team look awkward. Instead, once you get a topic from the audience or the scene has started, you have 1-2 seconds for a pregnant pause to collect yourself before you GO. And whatever that idea is, as “stupid” as you may think, commit 110% to it. Even at 80% commitment, it’ll still look stupid. But at 110%, it’s funny. Check out this clip of Peter Griffin from the Family Guy when he hurts his knee.

Watch more SPIKE videos on AOL Video

When he first falls and hurts his knee, it looks like a normal scene. After a little while, it’s stupid because he’s still hurting. But then after that moment passes, it starts becoming hysterical. Peter went with the hurt knee and committed 110% and it went from something normal to something funny.

In terms of hesitation, it definitely applies to meeting women. For the most part, you’re better off 9 times out of 10 to just go approach her the moment you see here, rather than lingering around to figure out what to say or waiting for that “perfect” moment, which usually never comes anyways. Because the more you wait, the more self-doubt will surface and women DO notice the creepy weird guys that hover around but don’t say anything to her. They can spot (and feel) them from a mile away. Conversely, if a woman is within your proximity, they want you to talk to them – so say something, anything!

And in life, very rarely does something just fall into your lap. (Law of attraction is an element at play though.) But for the most part, nothing good just happens – you have to get off your ass and get it NOW. God, luck, the Universe, your subconscious, or whatever you call it will open the door, but you must walk through it (credit Morpheus). And when you do go for it, fully commit and truly go for it because you’re only wasting your time if you’re just half-assing it.

So that’s my rant on improv. It was one of the scariest, yet most fulfilling experiences in my life. I definitely wouldn’t have won the LA Air Sex Championships without the experience, nor would I have become the person I am today. So if improv scares you, then you know what you have to do – go do it.

But before I dive deeper into that, I’ll explain what I mean about direct interest and sexuality. Without having these two qualities as a man, a guy will eventually end up in the friend zone with a woman and never have the opportunity to have any sexual relationship with her. A man may be able to have a fun conversation with a woman and generate interest and attraction, but won’t get any farther if he is unable to show that she turns him on as a fine sexy woman. (And from a woman’s perspective, who doesn’t want to be a desirable and beautiful creature.) So that’s where I’m at right now – I can talk to women, but my biggest challenge at the moment is getting over the fear of putting my balls on the line, risking rejection, and showing women that I am sexually attracted to them as a man.

To show my sexual interest, I can do it using body language and physical touch, but the one specific area I’d like to experiment and work on right now is learning how to talk dirty to a woman. Now I’m sure different women have different thresholds of what’s sexy talk to them, but I’d like to cultivate my range of dirty talk. I’d like to be able to articulately and seductively turn a woman on by just using my words.

So in order to do that, how does a guy get good at this stuff? Is there phone sex training/school for guys? I suppose I can call a phone sex line, but that’ll be a costly exercise. As I was brushing my teeth, I had an idea: Craigslist! Now I don’t have much experience with Craigslist. But from talking to other people, it’s either a miracle or disaster. So let’s experiment and see what happens.

============================

I configured my Google Voice phone number to forward to my cell phone and will be posting the following ad in the adult services section:

Are You a Woman Who Thinks She’s Good at Phone Sex?

Then come give me a shot. I’m an Asian male in my late 20’s and grew up in a traditional Asian household that did NOT talk about sex. I never had the birds and the bees talk and had a pretty sheltered life growing up.

So why am I posting this ad? Because as a man, I need to be more sexual and dominant and learn how to talk dirty to a woman. So if you think you’re any good at phone sex or think you can show me a thing or two, then I dare you to call me.

If you want to block your caller ID, then press the *67 before dialing my phone number: 424-645-1411. If I happen to miss your call, then leave me a sexy message.

Let’s see what you got.

============================

www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4

From a social anxiety standpoint, how awkward would it be to go up to people (without a sign) and just ask for a hug? It made me a little uncomfortable when I thought about it, especially when it means approaching other men, whether they are alone, with a group, or extremely masculine and tough-looking. I mean, how weird would it look for a guy to walk up to big muscular or tattooed random dude and asking him for a hug. What about approaching a group of guys, couples, families, or girls? As a result, I had to go do it.

6/12/09
I went out on Third Street Promenade and approached 40 people with, “You look friendly. Can I give you a hug?” Out of the 40, I got 4 of them to give me a hug -- a 10% success rate. As I suspected, asking the guys for a hug was the hardest. I got plenty of disgusted looks and whispers to their friend about what my problem is. Can’t remember for certain, but one of them might even have told me to fuck off. Anyways, it’s interesting to see how uncomfortable some men are with embracing other men. I was one of them because I was afraid of guys thinking that I’m gay for asking. But if I can’t be comfortable with physical touch with men, how can I expect to be comfortable with physical touch with women?

6/20/09
I went to Venice Boardwalk this time with Eyes Wide Open and did another 40 approaches with the same line: “You look really friendly. Can I give you a hug?” I didn’t keep track of how many hugs I actually got, but it must have been at least a 20-30% compliance this time. So what did I do differently this time to get better results?

1. Opening early -- Most of my approaches were oncoming traffic. In other words, I would ask people walking towards me rather than from behind or the side. But when they were coming towards me, I made sure to start talking early. They were at least 7-10 feet away so that I could get out everything I wanted to say by the time they were within hugging distance. In the previous attempts, I would open too late and they would have walked past me by the time I finished asking. And by then, it was easier for them to decline and just keep walking, rather than turning around to talk/hug me.
2. Speaking loudly -- I didn’t shout, but I made sure to speak loud enough that they could hear me from the 7-10 feet distance. But in order to do this, it required me to project my voice past them and having people around me overhearing what I was saying without caring what they thought about me. I especially remember this one time when there was a large group of people walking towards me. There were at least 10-15 people in the group. They weren’t all together, but they were walking in one giant cluster. So when I opened the people in the front, I had to talk lough enough for the people in the back to hear.  And of course when the people in front declined, everyone else behind them followed suit and ignored me as well.
3. Certainty in voice tonality and body language -- When I only got 1 out of 10 in the first experiment, it was pretty much asking them for a hug.  This time around when I doubled or tripled my results, I was doing it more confidently as if I was expecting them to give me the hug.  It was a combination of asking for a hug and telling them I was going to hug them. Funny thing is that most people wouldn’t really give me the hug, but was willing to stand there and let me hug them. Goes to show in life that sometimes it’s not just about  meeting halfway, but just going for it.
4. Holding my arms wide open -- As I’m saying, “can I give you a hug?,” I open my arms wide and welcome the embrace.  This puts a little extra social pressure for people to not let me hang with my arms out like that.
5. Standing there and not taking no for an answer -- I was much more successful with people that were standing still than walking. Since they were already stationary, I made sure to stand there with my arms out and didn’t take no for an answer. The only way they could say no was to walk away from me. And by just standing there and not going away, it was a lot more social pressure for them to comply. I remember a mother I approached rejected me and said no because I was a stranger, but I continued to stand there unfazed for several seconds. I could tell by the look on her face that she was surprised by my resilience. I then asked her at least 2-3 more times until I finally convinced her and she gave me a hug.

For the most part, I approached anybody: all guys, just one guy, all girls, just one girl, mother with kids, alpha guys, gay guys, etc. I wasn’t completely fearless though because I did skip the stinky homeless people and the ones that looked like gangsters.

Overall, I gained a couple of things from this exercise. First, it helped me get over some social anxiety. And secondly, it’s been very useful for approaching women. The five principles I listed above for improving my hug compliance also applies to approaching women. In fact, I used that on a few cuties to start conversations. One reason I really like it for an opener is that it filters out the women who are not adventurous, open, friendly, and outgoing -- all of which are qualities that are significant to me. I’m kicking myself in the butt though because I had a couple of opportunities with two cuties, but didn’t go for the phone number.

For the first one, the conversation was going well, but her father/uncle came up and joined us. I told him that I was giving hugs today and gave him one too. He was cool and friendly about it, but I was still afraid to go for the phone number because he was standing right there.

The second one was even worse. She was such an adorable brunette: she was sporting some Chuck Taylors with some short little shorts. And when I hugged her, she had this intoxicating scent. Yummy. Anyways, we only chatted for several seconds, but then she eventually started walking away. I remembered Brian’s line, “Hey, I’m not done flirting with you yet.” Unfortunately, that didn’t stop her and she kept walking. She ultimately stopped several feet at the crosswalk and stood there, but my lame ass turned around and walked away, instead of following her and trying to continue the conversation. Damn it!

But oh well, it’s missed opportunities like these that motivate us to capitalize on the next one.

Me: Hey, you guys seem pretty cool. I’m curious. On a scale of 1-10 and beyond, how adventurous would you say you are?
Girl #1: 7!
Girl #2: 8!
Me: Really? The reason I’m asking is because my buddy and I are looking for someone to ride the Ferris wheel with because we’re scared of heights.
Girl #1: Oh. I thought you were asking because you were looking for people to be on a TV show or something.
Me: So is that a yes?
Girl #2: No, thanks. [Walks away.]
Me: What? Haven’t you ever been on a 10-minute date?
Girl #2: My boyfriend would probably have an issue with it.

I asked a few more groups of people, but they all politely declined. I even asked a couple, but they declined the double-date as well. Anyways, one day I’ll get one…

6/26/09
When I did this last time at the Spectrum, I was rolling with my boy Frankie. But this time, I went solo to see how it would go. At least for me, it’s always easier to do approaches when you’re with your friend(s) because they push you to go for it and support you if you fail. Kinda like a coach. So going alone is always the most difficult.

When I went today by myself, I had much less anxiety about approaching solo today than I have in the past. I believe this is a result of continually making approaches with your friend(s) so that the fear eventually goes away enough that you can do it on your own. And slowly over time, I should be able to approach as well by myself as if I was with a buddy.

Today, I approached 8 groups/sets of women: 2 of them were by themselves, 3 of them were 2-sets (2 girls in the group), 2 of them were 3-sets, and 1 of them was a 4-set. I didn’t have the nerve to approach men (whether alone or with friends) or any group with men in them. I modified my opening line a bit: “I know this is kind of random, but you guys look really friendly. Are you adventurous though? On a scale of 1-10 and beyond, how adventurous would you say you are? Oh 8 [for example]. That’s pretty good. Most people rate themselves at a 6 or 7. The reason I ask is because I’ve been worked/lived in Santa Monica for a few years and I’ve never been on the Ferris wheel before and I’m looking for someone to ride it with.”

So what were the results?

For the first girl by herself, she was a nicely tanned blonde working at Pinkberry. She was in charge of directing people into the free Pinkberry promotion line. I approached with my opener and also added a “you’re cute” somewhere in there, but she has a boyfriend and declined. I gave her a hug at the end though, so that was cool. The second girl by herself who I approached also worked at Pinkberry. She was a cute young brunette who actually took over for the blonde because she had just gotten off work. Unfortunately I got the same result – boyfriend. But in addition, this one was a much shyer girl. Every time I moved half an inch closer to her, she moved 2 inches back. Her body language was completely defensive.

I approached three 2-sets. One of them went well. She didn’t say yes to riding on the Ferris wheel right at that moment because they were shopping, but I got her phone number and will see if I can schedule it for another time. Unfortunately, it felt more like I was extracting the phone number from her more so than her giving it to me, so we’ll see how well that works out. Of the remaining two, they both declined and one of them was the worst interaction of the day. I’m pretty proud of it though because they were both sitting outside of the Coffee Bean and I stopped to talk to them over the guardrail with everyone else sitting there watching me. It went something like:

Me: [Opener.]
Girl #1: Can’t you see that we’re having a conversation here.
Me: I thought you were kinda cute.
Girl #1: Thanks, but why don’t you ask that guy.
Me: [I look at the guy she's pointing to and he has this incredibly disturbed look on his face. I can tell he was extremely uncomfortable for himself and/or me. I was completely relaxed though. The first thing that came to my mind was:] But he doesn’t meet the height requirement for the Ferris wheel. He’s too tall. [I was caught off guard by her comment, so what I blurted out made no sense.]
Girl #1: Well, that was rude.
Me: Sorry, I’m just warming up. [They were the first or second approach of the day.]
Girl #1: I think you should go now.
Me: OK. Have a nice day.

One of the two 3-sets was almost as bad. After overhearing them planning to go on the Ferris wheel, I approached:
Me: [Opener.]
Girl #1: We’re going to go, but just the three of us. Because when we take pictures, we don’t want you in them.

It was a fair enough comment, but kinda stung a bit for a split second.

I saw the final 4-set from across the street and should have ran across to talk to them, but I chickened out. I was lucky that they crossed the street and came over to my way. But by the time they got to my corner, there were at least 10-15 people surrounding them and I’m sure all of them could overhear me. Just a couple of months ago, I probably would have been too afraid to speak loudly enough, fearing that the people around us would overhear and laugh or think poorly of me, especially if I failed. But through these progressive conditioning exercises, I think I’m done caring about what other people think in this context. And how nice it is to be free of that.

Now that I’ve done this a couple of times, I think one part of the new strategy for an instant 10-minute date on the Ferris wheel would be to approach people who are physically closer to the Ferris wheel (rather than several minutes away by foot) so that it would be easier for them to get on. I also probably would have a higher likelihood of getting better results by approaching tourists and/or out-of-towners because they’re already new to the area and looking for something different.

It’s an interesting situation. In the past few days, I’ve been feeling supremely confident at times and now I feel like a chicken again. But after a little while, I realized that this has been much better than several months ago. Back then, I used to be chicken all the time and not confident any time. So putting it into that perspective helped a lot because now it’s confident some of the time and only chicken some of the time (and much less of one than before).

But as I was walking back to the office, I thought about my situation right now: I feel very confident when I approach the women that I’m only moderately attracted to. I have that feeling of “I can do this.” But when it comes to the women that I’m really attracted to, I get scared wondering if I’m good enough for them and give them all the power. So on one hand, I didn’t want to date the ones that were only moderately attractive because I wanted to go for the perfect girl. On the other hand, I was still scared of the perfect girl. Dilemma right?

But when I asked Brian about it the other day, he said to go do both. Instead of this being mutually exclusive, go for both types of women. He recommended that I should date the women I’m moderately attracted to (my 7′s and 8′s) while simultaneously going for the ones I’m super attracted to (my 9′s and 10′s). It was such a simple and easy answer, I wonder why I didn’t think of it. Makes sense to learn to date and get comfortable with women in general while I build my experience and confidence during the process.

So by the time I got back to the office, I was both enlightened and frustrated. I’m glad I had my epiphany, but wasn’t satisfied that I didn’t really go for those two other girls I saw. After a little while, I knew what I had to do.

I finished up what I needed to do at the office and went to the hallway bathroom. I washed my hands, fixed my hair, and wiped the sweat off my forehead. I gathered myself, walked out the bathroom door, turned a couple of feet, and rang the intercom doorbell to suite 850.

Receptionist through the intercom: Hello. The door’s open. Come on in.

I open the door and go into the office.

Me: Oh. I thought that was like a buzzer and the door was locked.
Receptionist: Yeah. Everybody thinks that. Anyways, how can I help you?
Me: Yeah. Is Lisa here? I’d like to talk to her. It’s C-Dub. I’m your neighbor in suite 800.
Receptionist: Yeah. I remember you.
Me: Oh. Cool.
Receptionist: [Speaking into the telephone.] Hi Lisa. C-Dub is here in the lobby to see you.
Receptionist: She’ll be right out.

Lisa: Hi.
Me: Hi Lisa. It’s C-Dub. We met a while ago. Do you have a couple of minutes to talk privately outside in the hallway?
Lisa: OK.

We go out into the hallway.

Me: So yeah. Do you remember me? I ran into you in the elevator one night a few months ago when you were working late.
Lisa: [Thinks about it for a little bit.] Oh yeah. I remember.
Me: Since that night, I was hoping we’d bump into each other again because I thought you were adorable.

She blushes. Then her boss walks through the hallway and she gets embarrassed some more.

Me: Was that your boss?
Lisa: Yeah. That was my boss. [Blushes some more.]
Me: Oh good. Now it’s awkward for the both of us.

Me: But yeah. The company I had work for is moving out, so today is our last day in the building. So before I go, I had to come by and see you again because I think you’re cute. I didn’t want to go to bed tonight with regret because it’s one of the worst feelings in the world, so I wanted to meet you. We should hang out sometime.
Lisa: [Blushes and giggles.] Hang out? I’m kinda seeing someone right now.

Me: Wow. I’m flattered. We only met for a short time and you already consider me dating material. Do you think we can take it one step at a time and just start by being friends? [Smile.]
Lisa: [Laughes.] So just hang out? As friends? [Smiles.] I’m actually just casually dating him.

Me: OK cool. So we’ll hang out sometime. Are you a texter?
Lisa: Why don’t you give me your phone number? [Reaches for the door to presumably go back inside and get a piece of paper and pen.]
Me: [Puts hand on door.] Wait a minute. You’re not one of THOSE girls that call 24 hours a day. Because if that’s you, then I’m going to have to give you your phone number back. [Smile.]
Lisa: [Laughes and smiles.]

Me: So do you like babies?
Lisa: I like dogs.
Me: Babies are a little different than dogs. Because if you don’t like babies, we can’t be friends. [I show her my wallpaper picture of my niece on my phone.] She’s my niece. I love her to death. I saw her today.

Lisa: [Didn't seem very thrilled.]
Me: So anyways, what’s your area code? Are you a 310 girl? [I stand next to her with phone in my hand.]
Lisa: Yeah.
Me: 310…go ahead.
Lisa: XXX-XXXX.

Me: OK cool. We’ll hang out some time. I’ll let you get back to work now. Gimmie a hug.

The hug was kinda wimpy and I forgot to bust her on it because I was still nervous.

In any event, it was such an awesome moment for me. (She seemed to have really liked it too because she giggled and blushed the whole time.) I’ve never put my heart on the line like that and spilled my guts like that before, so it was really cool to be truly genuine and vulnerable to a woman like that and see her respond so positively and be flattered about it. It felt like I was in a romantic comedy movie.

I also felt like I was on top of the world. I didn’t care as much about getting her number or not. I was just so thrilled with myself that this was my first real step towards going after a girl who is really my type. She’s this smart white girl (real estate finance) with blondish brown hair. She has multiple ear piercings and is really feminine, but with a down-to-earth girl-next-door personality. She’s just a tad shy, which is adorable because it’s just enough, but seems to be really outgoing and carefree once she gets to know someone. At least that’s my read on it.

So anyways, I’m really proud of myself for knocking on that door and doing what I did because it was the scariest thing I remember doing thus far all year. =0)