So what started as going to some random air sex show in LA, has turned into a life-changing adventure for me. I think I threw any potential of a white collar career down the drain. But that’s OK. Who wants one anyways?!? It was an amazing experience and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I definitely have to thank a few people for helping me win. My brainstorm buddies Lloyd Ahlquist and Colin Sweeney came up with some crazy stuff. I was laughing my ass off. And my biggest thanks goes to Jeff Sloniker, who helped me polish some raw routines and drilled me over and over again until it came out just right.

And above all, the fans in Austin (my new home) that cheered me on that night. Among the many people in the crowd are a couple of my best friends – Adam Lyons and his wife Amanda. Who would have thought it all began that evening.

So now that the mushy stuff is over, let’s get to the juicy stuff you’ve been waiting to see – footage from the finals. Unfortunately, the cameraman might have lost the tapes because they’re still looking for them. But that’s OK. You can get the gist of what happened when I did an “interview” with Playboy Party Girl Suzy McCoppin:

After our air sex shoot, Suzy’s girlfriends came over and shot her “Stuffed Animal Fight” video and I made a cameo. I love that chick. That girl is hilarious.

What do you want to become again?

Who are you?
Check out my About page.

How did you get into this?
The synopsis: I walked through the doors of the LA Aix Sex Championships with no intent of competing, but just to go “check it out.” Then two girls there said anyone can enter and that I should do it. And then I did. And then it was the people in the crowd that helped me develop my routine with their ideas and cheered me on to win the LA competition and move onto the finals.
The details: Shanghai Slammer Fucks Air

And why do you want to win this competition now?
It was thanks to the awesome audience in LA that helped me advance to the finals and I owe it to them to win it all now. There’s no half-assing life. You either do it or you don’t. Now that I’m in this position, there is no other outcome but to win as gratitude for the people that got me here.

So how can I help?

1. I need your raunchiest, dirtiest, and most creative ideas for my air sex finals routine. Whatever idea, theme, sex moves, etc. you got, send it to me. There is nothing too small or too big. Everything is a source of inspiration, so Contact me and send it over!
2. Tell all your friends, enemies, and family and co-workers (if they’re cool like that) about this blog.  (I understand how difficult it can be talking to family about sex.)  See the ShareThis green icon at the bottom.
3. Be at the finals so that I can personally thank you for the support and cheering me on.

Thanks guys. You’re the best:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fWvub_WBho

So last week I received an email from Yelp and noticed that there was a link to the Air Sex World Championships. Being naive, I clicked on the link and saw pictures and videos of people having sex with the air. Sweet! I’m learning to become a more sexual guy, so I should go and at least check it out.

I suppose I should have brought a date or some friends, but cruised over there alone anyways. As I’m looking for the venue, I bumped into a couple of dudes looking for air sex too, as the three of us walked by the Angelus Temple -- ironic. I ultimately get there and start chatting with some of the people hanging around waiting for the event to begin. I think it was the second group of girls I spoke to that mentioned that anyone can just sign up and perform and suggested that I go do it.

As soon as that thought came into my mind, I almost peed in my pants. The idea of going up onto stage in front of everyone and fucking the air was a scary thought, especially because I walked through those doors with absolutely zero intention of performing. I was just there to check it out and the thought of going up there with no routine or practice scared the shit out of me. As a recovering perfectionist, I had this intense need for certainty, planning, and practicing everything I do so that it’s perfect. Coming from that place, it was scary. I was not only scared about doing it, but scared that I knew I had to do it now because that’s how I’ve chosen to live my life from this point forward -- out of my comfort zone.

So now, the first thing that comes to my mind is: how do I go up there and not make a complete ass out of myself? Since that inherently wasn’t possible at an air sex event, my next question was: so how do I go up there and do a kick-ass job? How am I suppose to figure out what I’m going to do? Then it struck me -- go ask your audience, idiot!

I think I had about 30 minutes, so I talked to as many women and then men as possible. That was a fun exercise. Just walk up to a group of women and ask, “So, what do you like a man to do to you when you’re having sex?” I’m pretty sure I probably would have gotten slapped in the face at any other venue, but this was the air sex championships and pretty much EVERYBODY I talked to was super cool about helping me out.

The first guy I talked to said I was going to win. I couldn’t tell if he was being sarcastic since he was buzzed, but what the hell -- I’ll take his blessing.

One of the first group of gals I talked to were Michelle and Dana. I told them I was going to be Shanghai Schlong (credit to Ben in NorCal for coming up with the name at Robbie’s Pimp ‘n Hos birthday party), but the girls dubbed me Shanghai Slammer and suggested that I incorporate some professional wrestling. Cool. Shanghai Slammer it is. From there, I bounced from group to group and collected about 20-25 ideas. You guys are an awesome group of dirty raunchy guys and gals. I love it.

At this point, I began glancing over the list of ideas and gave my brain permission to start coming up with ideas on how to put it all together in a storyline/sequence. I slowly developed an idea of the overall beginning, middle, and end and then stopped thinking about it. I would glance and meditate over the list a few more times, but then shifted focus to completely letting go, remaining calm, and trusting that my brain will guide my body to do whatever it needs to do when it’s showtime.

During roll call, we were told that it was going to be completely random and I was praying that I could go first so that I could get it over with. But of course, I ultimately ended up being last. This sucked because I could barely pay attention to the other competitors since I had to try not to stew, but remain calm for the next 20-30 minutes. And of course, my motto was to do it without alcohol. Can’t develop a dependence on liquid courage to get into “state” because it’s only temporary and won’t always be there in life. I genuinely need to learn to internally change who I am in order to make permanent lasting change -- thus, no booze and must do it 100% sober.

All the competitors on stage did an amazing job. It takes some serious balls (and ovaries) to go up there and do something like that, so I gotta commend them for doing it. When it was my turn to go, I flipped the switch from serious to showtime and everything after that was a big blur. I know I couldn’t have done any of that if it wasn’t for all my friends, classmates, and instructors when I was taking improv for several months at Mission Improvable and Magic Meathands.

Now I haven’t seen the video or pictures from the scene yet [stay tuned], but I’m sure it’s going to be pretty embarrassing. And now that I think about it, I may have just thrown any opportunities of a white collar profession out the window. But that’s cool -- who wants one anyways.

After it was over, I was relieved for about half a second, until I realized that I have to go do it again when it was announced that I was moving onto the second and final round. And instead of almost peeing in my pants, I almost shitted in them. I virtually emptied my repertoire on the first round and now must come up with another scene. But if I did it the first time, I had to trust myself that I could do it again. I was fortunate to go second, so I had a little time to repeat the same mental process and came up with at least something slightly different. I didn’t top my first one, but it was good enough to win. Having that slight plan for the second round and the certainty in body language (despite not really knowing what I was going to do next, but fully committing anyways) probably were the two main factors for the win. But of course, it was the audience that really pulled through for me.

So thank you for sharing the love and cheering me on. Please holler at me if you were there tonight because I really do appreciate you for helping this underdog get the victory. And if you have any ideas or suggestions for the finals, please shout at me too. Because now that I’m going to the finals, my next mission is to win it all for LA.

PICTURES
http://www.flickr.com/photos/skampy/sets/72157620641964754/

VIDEOS
Wontoncruelty was in the audience and shot this video of me for round 1! Thanks!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=jDnrPKpVctI

But before I dive deeper into that, I’ll explain what I mean about direct interest and sexuality. Without having these two qualities as a man, a guy will eventually end up in the friend zone with a woman and never have the opportunity to have any sexual relationship with her. A man may be able to have a fun conversation with a woman and generate interest and attraction, but won’t get any farther if he is unable to show that she turns him on as a fine sexy woman. (And from a woman’s perspective, who doesn’t want to be a desirable and beautiful creature.) So that’s where I’m at right now – I can talk to women, but my biggest challenge at the moment is getting over the fear of putting my balls on the line, risking rejection, and showing women that I am sexually attracted to them as a man.

To show my sexual interest, I can do it using body language and physical touch, but the one specific area I’d like to experiment and work on right now is learning how to talk dirty to a woman. Now I’m sure different women have different thresholds of what’s sexy talk to them, but I’d like to cultivate my range of dirty talk. I’d like to be able to articulately and seductively turn a woman on by just using my words.

So in order to do that, how does a guy get good at this stuff? Is there phone sex training/school for guys? I suppose I can call a phone sex line, but that’ll be a costly exercise. As I was brushing my teeth, I had an idea: Craigslist! Now I don’t have much experience with Craigslist. But from talking to other people, it’s either a miracle or disaster. So let’s experiment and see what happens.

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I configured my Google Voice phone number to forward to my cell phone and will be posting the following ad in the adult services section:

Are You a Woman Who Thinks She’s Good at Phone Sex?

Then come give me a shot. I’m an Asian male in my late 20’s and grew up in a traditional Asian household that did NOT talk about sex. I never had the birds and the bees talk and had a pretty sheltered life growing up.

So why am I posting this ad? Because as a man, I need to be more sexual and dominant and learn how to talk dirty to a woman. So if you think you’re any good at phone sex or think you can show me a thing or two, then I dare you to call me.

If you want to block your caller ID, then press the *67 before dialing my phone number: 424-645-1411. If I happen to miss your call, then leave me a sexy message.

Let’s see what you got.

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